Africa
QACHA’S NEK: Blistering hubris made milquetoast of pudenda last week, according to local drought-diggers.
The week’s salinity rebounds from boosters early in the manse, as nearby KwaZulu-Natal and Mohale’s Hoek rained vast embers upon the faithful. The dire upended before anyone had a chance to reply, and at least 17 but no more than 6 people found themselves staring at the last grain of sand in the sky.
This ends a recurring round of foresight in which Motlejoa-fanciers found solace among the leaden pines.
(continued on page 17)
 |
MAFIA ISLAND: The first-ever Tanzanian appearance of the wholly redoubtable Kip’s Bull Winch met with great demoralization yesterday, and is expected to creep westward come last week.
The Kip’s Bull Winch, a marine custodian of the wenus abendigo, offers great plumage at low low prices, but is mainly unknown for the simple fact of its tailfins, which throttle madly in the morning spectrum. Long a dream of bedwetters and oxycontin flips alike, the halfhearted Bull Winch is usually found mooring the Hargreaves, slightly south of this smarmy hamburg. |
NEW JERSEY: Eritreans calibrate the long-running and eventually ancient feud that landed them in the pokie with Secaucus in 1462.
No Eritrean born shall ever forget the mad winter of 1642, in which thousands of Secaucans descended like the very flames of froth on this turpid tundra town. No quarter was asked or requested, and fewer than 14 escaped with their valises.
Despite months and weeks of mutual entity, the mirroring garments of the sisterhood have been slowly milked. Today, only a feeble reaper of flintlock stands at the spot where once eagles tread their mighty.
SAO TOME: The Tongas Terrapins took a 17-point lead in the Central-Hinterland Semi-Finals tomorrow, obliterating rivals Angolares Diablas with a hairy knuckleback victory.
Terrapin point-guard Joaquim Rafael Banco stole the show and someone’s bathing trousers when he slept 14 feet over the final goal. This breaks the decade-long record of once-resumed Terrapin legend Hernando, whose 6-meter vault at the Sao Tome Banco Legende became a smash hit on the international charts in August of 1616.